Sorry Is...
Issue # 130 on COB hosted by Microsoft Live
Created Septmember 11, 2011
It is quite the task when you are handeling the business for your aging parents. Simple things become hard enough to understand so it is even harder when the important stuff comes up like insurance changes, Medical updates and mortage information. The powers that be have thier hands tied in making this easier because the priority to protect privacy is so high and the need for everyone's identity to be verified is key.
I ran into this problem when dealing with my moms private insurance company. When asked to lower her rate, they were sweet as could be. But throughout her relationship with them, there had been some things I didn't like. I felt as though there communication system was off as information and arrangements made with one rep did not show when dealing with another rep when it came to payment arrangements and due dates. It seems we repeated the same information six times and were told changes were made six times.
My frustration came to a head when they informed my mom that her new rate could not take place until she caught up and they requested another $269 money my parents do not have! I attempted to get to the bottom of this while my mom was in her doctors appointment but not before they got her permission to talk to me...something else that was supposed to be done five times before. I quietly and calmly listened as he explained to me how they figured she was late and then I explained, calmly why we figured she wasn't. When I asked for a resolution I was met with more complicated explainations instead.
Now I am no genius, but I have learned to test my comprehension before I draw a conclusion or try to rectify a situation. I have after all been in management for 13 years....retail management at that! I was already frustrated with the situation when I was told, after he had stopped talking, to "hold on let me explain so we can communicate. Your not understanding what I am telling you." Not only do I not like to be interupted when I don't interupt you, I don't like to be told that I don't understand what I do understand! I lost it.
So there I was pacing back and forth, outside, in front of my moms doctors office, yelling and screaming and dare I say flailing curse words left and right! I finally demanded a supervisor, only to be told that that was a good idea he should transfer me to someone who could make me understand. That sent me further over the edge. When I was put on hold for 5 mins only to be transferred to a voicemail, I was even more furious. Then I was denied the right to speak to someone else because my mom was not available to give the okay even tho I was authorized to speak on her behalf numerous times before. After five phone calls and two very angry voicemails to a supervisor, I was so angry I was shaking and I couldn't even eat.
My mom was so...well her! She has me for a kid so her tolerance level has got to be pretty high. She said that she would pray about it and that between her and God they would figure something out. She thanked me for trying and told me to have a good day. As I drove to pay a bill before work, my moms gentle response to an explosive situation had me feeling quite convicted. I picked up the phone and called the insurance company one more time. This time I had to apoligize. I got thru to a rep and I told her that I was looking for a particular rep. She told me he was assisting another member. I told her that I just wanted to apologize. I blew up at him and he was only trying to help me. She told me that she would deliver the message and it would make his day so much brighter. I understood, like I said before I deal with people on a daily basis.
I felt better after I apologized and my God was able to give my mom a solution. He gave her the soultion because she was peaceful enough to recieve it. God operates in stillness and quite. He is not fussy and aggressive. Drama is not how He comes to His children. We have often heard the expression sorry is as sorry does. Well that day I was very sorry. I was a ball of confusion, anger and frustration and nothing got resovled thru me. I was a hinderance not a help. I was in my self...not in Christ. We are called to be Christ like for a reason. If Christ and his father are one and we are in Christ and Christ is in us...you get the point. Christ's way is one of gentleness. Guess this means I must be more gentle. Lesson definetly learned!